Afterlife of the Party Shorts

Pestilence’s Party with Rona

When word trickles down that the Rapture is nigh, Pestilence decides he must break free of the Four Horsemen and usher in one last hurrah: the coronavirus.

The Horsemen’s father has never been one to announce His plans. “The Lord works in mysterious ways,” after all, and less mysterious ways would lack the element of surprise. However, in the early twenty-first century, word began to trickle down the holy grapevine that He was growing tired of humanity. War, Famine and Death’s punishing ways were certainly thinning the herd, but it didn’t change the simple truth that humanity remained “full of entitled little fuckwads” (rumour has it that is a direct quote).

The Rapture would soon fall upon humankind, at which point He would retrieve his favourites (largely filled with those who inflate his ego through worshipping each Sunday), while the rest, i.e. those entitled little fuckwads, would be left behind on what would become Hell on Earth.

As rumours suggested the Rapture would be occurring sometime in the near future, Pestilence reasoned he had a limited window of opportunity before he, along with his supernatural brethren, would openly gallop across the Earth.

“Seriously, dude, I’ll hang in the back,” Death reassured him. “You get out front, put on a sexy pose while on your horse, and social media will love you!”

Despite Death’s reassurance, Pestilence was sick of waiting. He wanted to shine right then and there, and if he was indeed to shine as brightly as hellfire, he would need to strike while he still had the opportunity. As the world prepared to say goodbye to the year 2019 AD and usher 2020, convinced it was going to be “our year,” the lone Horseman did just that.

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