Afterlife of the Party Shorts

Pestilence’s Party with Rona

When word trickles down that the Rapture is nigh, Pestilence decides he must break free of the Four Horsemen and usher in one last hurrah: the coronavirus.

As Pestilence told those freethinkers what to think, the world’s governments held firm. “If you want the world to open up, you need a vaccination,” they said. “No, two; maybe three; it could even be four.”

As many of the mortals presented their arms while others considered bearing arms, Earth’s politicians did something that goes against the fabric of their existence: they kept their promise. Why, you may ask. For the sake of the economy. To keep that artificial construct called money moving about so mere droplets could trickle down to those that society has disadvantaged the most and flood through to those who need absolutely nothing.

A lesser spectre would recoil, deciding he has finally lost the war. Not Pestilence, though; his brother is the very embodiment of war, so, like Sun Tzu, he has picked up a thing or two over the millennia. Instead, Pestilence fell to the floor, overcome by feelings mortals might describe as “warm” and/or “fuzzy.”

Pestilence always knew humanity would release its restrictions, the allure of the artificial monetary construct too strong to protect themselves and their ilk forever. For no matter what stories he put out into the world, no matter how many seeds he planted in those ever so fertile minds, the majority would take a small prick in exchange for the lives they once knew.

But Pestilence also always knew that despite the odds, some of these “freethinkers,” this herd battling the sheeple, would hold true. And as the world opened up, these loyal foot soldiers would keep fighting his war.

And as long as these foot soldiers fought his war, more people would fall to his virus. As the world opened its doors, as it stopped forcing people to remove their masks, as those inconveniences for not vaccinating themselves against the threat vanished, the world entered its “post-COVID” state. Yes, the virus was present, and yes, the mortals still perished. But yet, the mortals resumed their daily lives, lining the pockets of those who do not need it. As humankind covered its ears, living in ignorant bliss as they moved through their happily ever afters, Pestilence watched.

And Pestilence, that wily punishment of God, lived happily ever after.

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